Unfortunately, most everything we learn about love teaches us that love requires nothing but our presence. True love lasts forever, love conquers all, and if you love me you should know how I feel. The misconceptions are countless, yet so is the number of Americans trying desperately to prove they’re true. So let’s instead channel all of that frantic energy into developing a curiosity about the lessons our partner’s qualities and quirks hold for us. Once we get over thinking, “Why won’t she/he . . . ?” we stop reacting — as if they were anomalies — to the repeated dysfunctional dramas we create and experience in every single relationship. It’s only then that Mother Nature’s brilliance catches fire and we realize our partners’ traits say as much about us as they do about them.
False advertising and the post-honeymoon truth, Part II